Always moaning and bitching about something, she loved to play the victim and always had a mountain of reasons for why the weight just kept creeping up.
Childhood traumas, divorced parents, a broken marriage, sadness, depression, anxiety. Really, anything from total crisis to mild boredom and Woe-Is-Me Jane would claim it as an excuse to let Stuff-Your-Face Jane out and allow Lazy Jane to sit around, staring at the wall.
Well, she's pissed off somewhere else now and it's really good to feel like the power is back here, internally, rather than with something external. Now that she's gone, nothing else is in control of my actions. I can choose to feel however I want to feel. I can choose to do whatever I want to do. That's an amazing realisation. How I choose to deal with problems is completely up to me - and me alone. I could choose to throw a trantrum, I could choose to lock myself away in solitude, I could choose to go to bed for a week. I could choose to eat everything in sight, I could choose to go for a walk, I could choose to run. Whatever. The point is, it's 100% my choice. No-one holds a gun to my head so I have total free will to choose every one of my actions and reactions.
Therefore, from this day forward, I choose not to react to any heightened emotion by sending Stuff-Your-Face Jane into bat. Stuff-Your-Face Jane will be allowed out very occasionally, under special conditions and with rules to follow, but never during an emotional low or an emotional high. The end.
1 comment:
Jane! Wow! What an epiphany! Congratulations on your determination to get on top of those demons. Yes, you do have free will to choose your actions. Now that you are conscious of all those voices and their temptations they won't get the better of you (most of the time!).
I believe exercise is the key to emotional and physical wellbeing. When I don't have my regular walks I really feel my spirits plummet. Before long exhaustion creeps in and then the old habits start up. I am so glad you have hung in there with your physical activity and it has obviously had an amazing effect on you. Well done my friend! See you soon. Love Sheila xxx
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