On 14 March, I decided to take a giant step. I put my toe into the water and tested what it feels like to embark on another career journey. For the last eight years, I have run my own business. It has been eight years of dizzying highs and soul-crushing lows. Building a business from nothing and then holding the reins as it gains incredible momentum is a crazy ride. Looking around me, I think I've come to the realisation that it's not a ride I want to be on anymore.
This sense of uncertainty about the future and what it holds has allowed Fearful Jane to take over for a number of weeks now. She is terrifically scared about what comes next, about whether this is a sign of failure and about whether working for someone else is going to be easier or harder than being self-employed.
Unfortunately, Bikini Jane has been pushed right out of the picture over the last few weeks. Her dreams and ambitions have been brushed aside to make room for all this anxiety.
I'd really like to know how other people compartmentalise their lives so that one aspect doesn't adversely affect another... it seems I need to build a wall around Bikini Jane, so that nothing else can get to her, and so she can maintain her space in my head.
How does everyone else deal with dilemmas while they're trying to get things in order with health and fitness? It feels like the disorder is bigger than the order right now... but I'm going to try and fix it. Hopefully, I can create a small amount of order, inside those walls that I'll build around Bikini Jane's headspace.
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